Who needs therapy? I run.

First things first, I'm an advocate for everyone's mental well being...including, and sometimes especially, my own.  However you go about it is your business, but it's why I do certain things - spend time with friends, play the guitar, listen to music, drink, read, write, garden, cook, and run.  The list could go on and on, I guess I try to surround myself and keep myself busy with people and things that keep me calm and even-keeled, and make me feel better when I'm down and out, can make me laugh until I forgot what was bothering me in the first place.  I guess no one purposely does things that they know will stress them out, but sometimes it just happens - like work.  I love my job, I really do.  Some days are good, some are bad, and some days I think I'd be happier working at Dairy Queen.  Being in public service, though - people either love you or hate you, there doesn't seem to be any in-between.  Working with crime victims can be very rewarding, even when they curse at you because of something completely out of your control, like sentencing.  The best response I can give them?  'Write to the legislature'.  (insert sarcasm here) That's what victims really wanna hear... 

This week has been 'one of those weeks'.  We are in the middle of a capital murder trial that really should be pretty straightforward, but instead, every wrench that could be thrown in has been.  Because it's still going on, I probably shouldn't go into any detail on a public forum.  But throw in personal stuff, which is what happened this week, and you have my week in a nutshell.

My grandmother is in the hospital, has been for 2 weeks, and they still don't know exactly what's wrong with her, except for the possibility of attributing it to congestive heart failure.  God willing, she'll be back home soon, but her birthday is October 2nd, which leads to my next personal heartache...one of my best friends from college is getting married on October 2nd, and she asked me a while back to sing in her wedding.  Of course I said yes, it's a beautiful song (Catch The Wind) and I was honored that she asked.  That was before they'd set a date...and even after they'd set the 2nd as the date, nothing in my head clicked - until a few days ago when I was putting things on my calendar.  I was sitting in court listening to testimony, and sometimes it gets a bit boring since I've pored through the file so many times I could play the part of every witness myself it seems.  So I usually take something to do in court - paperwork, if I can do it without my computer, my organizer, that kind of thing...So I'm sitting there, and I realize what's going on.  And I almost busted out into tears.  One way, I get to sing in my friend's wedding and party with our friends all weekend.  The other way I get to help my grandma celebrate her birthday.  You can see what the downsides are...

And so, I run.  I ran a half marathon this morning, and it was incredibly therapeutic.  There is something inherently peaceful about running.  I love to run by myself, on the roads near my house, on the treadmill at the gym, in a road race with hundreds of other people.  I can think, I can be mad, I can cry, I can do whatever in my head I want to - the only thing you really have to do is put one foot in front of the other.  Sure, good form helps, but it's not absolutely necessary to get from one place to the other. 

This morning was great.  I got to run with a friend, another friend came out to cheer us on (and went to 3 different stops!), and I got to eat a plain white bagel without guilt.  This whole bagel thing seems to be affecting me more than I was even aware at the time...I wrote about it on daily mile and facebook, too.  Also, I PR'd!  2:00:30 - I'm dangerously close to beating another runner friend of mine's half marathon PR (1:57) so that's my new goal is to beat him!  A little friendly competition never hurt anyone, right?  But no matter what, even if I never beat him, I know my day will be that much better - because as much work as I put into running - the training, the long runs, the weight lifting, the sleep and food schedules, the 4 AM work outs - I get so much more out of it.  I guess my parents were right - that you get out of life what you put into it.

And so, I run.